"Yes...BUT"

This is a picture of my sisters and their friends jumping off a cliff. I thought that it seemed appropriate :)

During the summer time, back home, cliff jumping is a regular past time.  One hot day this past summer it was my friend Steve's birthday, so my Dad and I took him cliff jumping.  As Dad sat back and enjoyed an adult beverage and a cigar, Steve and I climbed to the third largest jump on the cliff.  The first jump is about four feet from the water, the second about ten, the third about 15 or 20, and the fourth probably 30 or 40 feet from the water.  I only go off the 3rd because it is just enough to scare me but not enough to not make me want to do it. With our toes on the edge Steve started to count, "1, 2,..." I said, "Wait, I can't! It's too high I can't do this alone!" Steve laughed grabbed my hand and said, "3".  Needless to say I was a little upset, but that extra push is what I needed to leap.  I decided to go back up and do it all by myself.  Half of my old high school was there, memories of good and bad flooded through my mind.  I climbed up to the third jump and peered over the edge.  The dark water below seemed treacherous, yet the faces surrounding me were no longer my life, I had chosen to grow up and become something, to make a difference, to glorify God.  I strained my eyes to look at my Dad, he gave me the thumbs up.  I breathed in and jumped.  The second my feet left that ledge I felt as though I were flying, I felt the most wonderful freedom. 

I have been contemplating this idea of jumping when it comes to matters of life; when it comes to trusting God. Luke 9:61 says, " Lord I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house."  When I read this I felt so selfish.  There are so many countless times when we say, "Okay, but let me do somethings first" or "Sure, but don't make me go through dark times." If we are to do anything worth while in life, there are times where we must risk everything on our leap.  Jesus desires this from us...trust, to simply "be still and know that He IS God."

J.R.R. Tolkien once said, "Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." Trust...trust is something so easy to say but so difficult to follow through on. I feel like I have taken that leap of trust, I have plunged into the water and hit rock bottom.  Now I am treading water, attempting to keep my head above the surface, awaiting God's life boat to come and save me.  And yet part of me feels like I haven't taken that leap yet. I have taken baby leaps, but not that big one.  That one that looms before me, because I can't seem to let go, to let go of that one thing that means so much to me. 

In my devotional today Chambers said, "Trust entirely in God, and when He brings you to the venture, see that you take it.  We act like pagans in a crisis, only one out of a crowd is daring enough to bank his faith in the character of God."  I want to be that daring "one".

The road has darkened and become lonely, and I feel helpless at the top of my cliff.  But I know that God is there. He is encouraging me to jump, to take that leap of faith and trust in Him.  He is the one standing by my side counting off, "1, 2...." and at that moment he reaches for my hand, I let go and at "3" fall into the awe of His loving and gracious arms.