Praying For Rain

Sometimes life startles me in the most peculiar and silly ways.  And sometimes it takes God a LONG time to answer prayer.  This week it rained.  I was in a dead sleep and awoke to a loud pitter-pattering noise.  I rolled over assuming that it was my roommate texting away at 6:30 in the morning, but then I saw the silhouette of raindrops sliding down the wall and ran to the window.  I peered through the blinds to find my world drenched in a beautiful downpour.  I didn’t want to go back to sleep.  I put on my bright yellow sweatshirt and some sweatpants, grabbed my ipod and went outside.  As Ray Charles sang into my ears, I jumped from puddle to puddle.  People walking by must have thought that I was crazy.  I looked up and stared the falling raindrops head on, in complete awe and wonder at God.  At the beginning of the semester I was feeling incredibly down and hurt.  I was reading Ezekiel 34 and in verses 26 and 27 it talks about the rain.  I love the rain so in a silly attempt to question God’s power I prayed and asked that God would allow it to rain, and not just any kind of rain, but the downpour; the kind of rain that soaks you through and through after only stepping one foot out the door.  The next day it didn’t rain, and the next and the next.  Eventually I gave up on my prayer and the dreams and hopes that I had attached to it.  

But I guess I simply had not waited enough, because the rain came, and it came hard, and it has been here for almost a week now.  The wet dew, the chill, and the strong smell of rain mixed with the sea has been a constant reminder to me to not give up, and to believe.  I am in the best use of the word, overjoyed, sad but happy all in one.  There were a lot of things that I missed about this semester, and it was the exact opposite of what I was expecting.  But with all of the “missing”, God placed some really amazing people into my life and strengthened some relationships that mean a lot to me. 

To be honest I didn’t think that I could do this semester, but I did : )  I did it! I’m ready to be home and work and see what else God has in store for my life.

 

 

 

Finals...Ah!

Finals are here and I think that the whole school is about to go crazy.  I had three finals last week and still have three next week.  

Here are some funny jokes that have been floating around Biola, just thought that you guys would think that they were hilarious!

15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Sanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso. 
6. Finish all your sentences with, "in accordance to prophecy."
7. Dontuseanypunctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are.  Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".
11. Put mosquito netting around your desk and play tropical sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Call your parents and tell them, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

They cracked me up, I hope that you enjoyed them too :)

Pictures from Thanksgiving

Here are some pictures from this thanksgiving.  We had our friends Greg and Andy over, and we had a lot of fun eating good food and catching up. 

Grace

Today was one of those "I am on top of the world" kind of days.  Yesterday was a HUGE feat for me.  For 162 days, over 1/3 of a year I have been allowing a pain to encompass my life. I have been fervently praying that God would allow me to be free.  I have been praying and learning to have enough faith to know that living in God's will is the best. 

Last night something inside of me just latched shut.  I was encountered by a situation that months ago would've been too difficult for me to bear. As soon as it happened I waited for the rush of heat, the instant tears to start unknowingly race down my cheeks.  I ran into the elevator to head back to my dorm and just stared at my reflection in the elevator door. Nothing happened.  I felt nothing, I didn't really care.  I was flabbergasted.  I got into my room, dropped my bag on the floor and just stood in the middle of my room thinking, "What had just happened?" It was as though someone had put my heart on ice so that I wouldn't feel the pain anymore, and locked it up.  The way that doctors put people in ice to keep them alive by slowing things down to keep them alive longer.  Ironically enough I found myself trying to cry, or feel the pain.  But nothing happened.  I didn't know what to do or how to feel.  I couldn't sleep.  I went for a walk.  I felt so different, in a weird scary way though, because it is a feeling that is new to me.  I felt pushed.  Like when some one pushes you into a pool.  You stand at the edge not really wanting to go in because you are comfortable with where you are, yet you know that you will be going in eventually.  Then you feel that push. You fall. You are surprised, shocked, scared.  It is in that moment of the fall in which you question what will happen: "Will I hit the bottom?" "Will I get water up my nose?" "Why did they push me in?" "Will the water be cold?" Then you break the surface and plunge in. The change is startling, but then you warm up to it and swim. 

The questions that swirled around in my mind were much like those of falling out of your own control. I thought, "Should I be relieved that for some reason the pain no longer throbs?" "Is this good?" "Why and how did this come on all of a sudden?" "Is it okay if I am happy about it and sad at the same time?" I don't know.  I am afraid to give this stage in my life a word by which to describe it.  Strangely enough however, the word that keeps coming to my mind is content.  About six months ago an old friend told me that I have to find true happiness myself, and that no one could do that for me.  He was right, and today, a day where I didn't think I could face another monotonous situation, a day full of regret, a day where I couldn't find the strength to want to go forward, I found joy.  

I am tired of waiting for life to begin, because it has begun, I need to live in the moments of life, because they are precious and fleeting.  There is this book I have been reading entitled "Cold Tangerines" this is a part that I really enjoyed in a chapter that the author calls "On Waiting." 

"I don't want to wait anymore.  I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day.  I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold.  The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab onto and extend to one another.  That's the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don't even see it, because I'm too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become.  The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting.  The Heismen Trophy winner knows this.  He knows that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy.  It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed.  It was the miles run on a rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven.  That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before that."

Today thanks to all of the tiny moments that made it up for all that it is, has instilled in me the most wonderful freedom.