Twenty

After watching my family's home video of my 2nd birthday, I am not really too excited about having to spend my twentieth without them :( I have so many mixed emotions about being twenty. Not like there is anything I can do about it. Part of me feels a lot like Peter Pan, I honestly do not really want to grow up, but then there is another part of me that is ready to be grown up. I suppose if you would consider twenty a grown up. I always used to think of it as such an old age. And now that I am here I feel that I need to be so much more responsible and adult. I guess maybe I am still having that adolescent/adult crisis ;0 )

I have lived a pretty awesome 20 years so far, I hope to make the next 20 years even better as cheesy as it sounds :) Thank you Mom and Dad, for blessing me, raising me, and teaching me so much, and for giving me some of the best friends that I have as sisters. Love you :)

I'm 20! :0 )

Life is tough, get a helmet!

This how I currently feel about my life.  Classes are going well, even though half the time I feel as though I am not attending them mentally, at least my physical self is there.  I think that possibly, my reason for feeling a little overwhelmed could perhaps be due to the fact that I will be turning 20 soon.  Is there such thing as an adolescent/adult life crisis? ;O )

My I Corinthians class has given me some wonderful perspective and instilled some trust in my heart.  As soon as things seem to get beyond my grasp, my trust becomes totally effaced. So when I read this the other day, it placed things back into perspective.

"Why do we so often try to assess how well we are doing when we know that all human judgements, including our own are fallible?  Other people's judgements are fallible, so why do we take so seriously other people's criticism or flattery?  What hinders our enjoying total release from such worrying? How can a right balance be reached between self-discipline and "letting go" to leave everything in the hands of God?" 

The basic gist of my reading was that you have to admit how little you know in order that you may begin to learn.  So far this has been an extremely humbling semester, and from the looks of things God is not close to being done with me in that area, which is an awesome thing, but also difficult.  One hilarious thing that my Professor said last week was that many people who do not believe in God accuse Christians of using their faith as a "crutch" to get through life.  He raised his hands and started to laugh and said, "And do you know what I say to that? God isn't my crutch, God is my stretcher!" I thought that was a pretty good one :) I appreciate knowing and learning that wanting, and needing to be dependent is a good thing.

 

Catch-up ;0 )

Biola as of late, has been just as busy as summer was.  I was so thrilled for last weekend to get ahead in all of my studies, but instead my body decided to kick in and say, "Woah there, you just got done working 14 hour days, and now you want to try and make me squeeze 18 units into four days, coach tennis, and a job?! I do not think so!" And so I was sick all weekend :( But its okay, all better now :)

My classes this semester are great, I am just going to need some new eyeballs after this semester because all of my classes require SO much reading ;) I am taking so many different classes, so it makes everyday interesting. I am attempting to make everyday an adventure in my classes, and try not to fall asleep.  I have learned not to sit next to the wall, because my head is too tempted to rest against it, allowing my overworked eyes to feel like they can catch some z's.  

My American Literature class has been by far my favorite class so far.  This teacher that I have is a cross between an old high school teacher I had named Mr. Canning, and  Mr. Incredible.  He dresses just like my old teacher; cool rugged jeans, nice shirt and tie, and crazy awesome shoes, such as; cowboy boots/loafers.  And he looks just like Mr. Incredible.  Its hilarious.  On the first day of class, he talked about looking at writing and reading from a different perspective.  He said, (as he sits on a desk with his feet in a chair) "Isn't neat how God chose to relay His love story to us in a book? God is a poet, and He put it all into a book for us. He could have chosen any way to tell us about His love, and He in His infinite wisdom chose a book!" I had never really thought about the Bible in that way, and it is teachers like him that challenge and encourage us to think outside of the box, that make me so happy to be in college.

I am also in a lot of elementary education classes.  They are interesting and full of information.  And I am taking two Bible classes. My theology II teacher is a cowboy at heart and has the quietest voice I have ever heard from a prof. He took me and a few other students out to Starbucks last week, and I had the opportunity to talk with him and get to know him in an out of college atmosphere which is pretty neat.  My  I Corinthians class is a class full of debaters.  I don't mind mild conversation in the classroom because it does help you to remember the content and it gets you thinking. HOWEVER, I always get at least one of those people in my class who feel that they are the one who should be teaching the class, and feel that they need to make a comment on everything that the professor is saying.  It is kind of hilarious.  

My job is t.a.ing (if that is how you spell it) for Physical Science, a class that I took last year.  I am really enjoying that job.  I need to get used to grading papers and being in front of a class, so it is great practice.   And I start teaching tennis this next monday. I have missed my students and am ready to get back into the swing of things. 

Being at school this year is so different.  Every year comes with a new feeling, faces, learning, and experiences.  This year so far, feels so regimental. It is so jam-packed and unlike any year that I have ever had here.  Old friends are gone, some left completely, and others are only gone for a little while, and there are SOOOO many freshmen.  All of my friends here are really busy with their lives, and some days its like I don't even know them at all, they are just a people who I see sometimes in the cafeteria line.  So this year in many ways is like starting over completely.  Its not a bad thing, it is just really different. For me Biola has held some of the best memories I have of friendship, fellowship, and love, but it also holds with it some of the lowest and loneliest times I have ever known.  So I am excited for this year, I have grown up a lot here and I am curious to see what curve ball God has ready to throw at me next ;)

P.S.

Happy 50th Anniversary to my grandparents! Congratulations! I love you both so much, you are a wonderful example of love and family that I hope to be and have someday :)

P.S.S.

I will add some pictures of life lately soon :)